Holiday Traditions

The end of year holiday season has started. Again. Time to get out there and do our duty as Americans and buy all kinds of stuff … most of which we don’t really want or need, and will be essentially worthless sooner than later. How did the holidays get so commercialized?

Have you ever really thought about holiday spending? Did you know that most people are still paying off purchases made during last year’s holiday season? (On credit cards with high interest rates that they don’t pay off every month …) Does that seem smart to you? I’m here to stand up for you and say that it doesn’t matter a bit. Do what you want to … it’s your life and you can do what you want. Spend your money like you want to. Still, having just said that, you may want to think about it more and see if it fits into the bigger picture of how you want to live your life.

Are you seriously doing what YOU want to do? Do other people really want what you give them? Do you really want all the stuff you get from others? Would you be happier if you spent your money on stuff you really wanted, when you wanted it, and just avoided all this holiday spending pressure completely? Where did all this peer pressure come from, to spend money like you have it, even if you don’t have it, so you buy on credit during these holidays? Well, that’s pretty simple … it comes from the companies that want to separate you from your money as fast and as often as possible.

Don’t you get disgusted with feeling obligated and coerced to participate in this spend spend spend situation? I do, and I did, and I quit doing it long ago. Yup … some call me the Grinch. But I’m no Scrooge because I spend plenty of money on stuff for myself and for others throughout the year that we really want … I just refuse to participate in the annual end of year money blowout. I see other people talking about their frantic search for gifts when they don’t know what to buy, but they WILL BUY SOMETHING! ANYTHING! … I hear them talking about spending the money when they don’t really have it … I hear the regrets after the fact when it is all over. So why do it? Peer pressure, pure and simple. Well, that and the urgency a lot of people seem to feel about enjoying these holidays no matter how frantic and anxious that pursuit can get. I know about the peer pressure; people give me grief every year about my Grinch-ness … and they defend their actions at all costs … literally.

What are they trying to recapture or maintain? The comfort of family ritual and tradition of holidays from years gone by … something that makes us feel ‘OK and normal’ today? The fabulous anticipation of the holidays, so we have something to look forward to? Who is it for? The children? The grownups? Is it to try to slow down aging or slow down change? Does it help us hold on to the past … our own youth or memories of people no longer in our lives? Is it something you can ‘count on’ in this fast-paced, complicated and stressful world of today? But what about after those holidays are over then, in the post-holiday-crash bleak and dreary depressing month of January, for example?

What’s with turkey feasts twice in 30 days, but none the rest of the year? I love them! Why don’t we have them more often? Is it because it is just too much work, but somehow it is justified during the end of year holidays because they are traditional? Would turkey every month put in jeopardy how special it feels to eat a turkey feast? Unbelievable … wouldn’t you like to spread the workload out during the year, instead of cramming it all into a few days twice a year? Cookies by the dozen, pies, cakes, turkey and all the fixings, trying to buy presents, hanging stockings, decorating trees IN our homes and EVERYTHING outside our homes. And what gives with 100 million small evergreen trees cut down so you can have little green needles all over the floor? Trees that then have to be disposed of then, once their ‘traditional’ use is over? I sort of get going out into the wild to cut your own, but buying one from a parking lot? And does anyone you know really LIKE that three-bean salad? Did you still have dozens of cookies in the freezer in March? And what about all the weight people gain and then resolve a week later to lose? What about the same music, over and over and over again, for a whole MONTH or more? Wow … it just seems a bit much to me.

I question everything … I can’t seem to help it, and I really question things I do that seem to be simply because I have always done them. For me, time passing changes my perspective on everything. Things I used to do might have made sense to me before, but now I question it all … do they still make sense to me? Do I still enjoy them? Do I still really want to do them? Why, or why not? What else would I like instead, or in addition? Can’t we create our own traditions as we see fit, the older we get … as we decide to live life on our terms? That answer appears to be ‘NO’, if you listen to others … and holidays are just one example.

I read a book a few years ago that I thoroughly enjoyed, and LOVED … until the ending. It is Skipping Christmas by John Grisham … it was fabulous, until the last chapter or two when Grisham and all the characters in the book compromised their non-traditional thinking and caved in to the peer pressure … they folded and crumpled like cowards and did the whole commercialized extravaganza at the last minute. I felt betrayed and bewildered. But, I also laughed as the ending wasn’t totally unexpected; I really DO realize just how eccentric I am, and how different I am from most folks.

I don’t like or need to be prompted to buy stuff for people I care about or to remember them … Mother’s Day … Father’s Day … Valentine’s Day … give me a break. If the only time you do stuff for others is when you get prompted on a holiday, what does that show? I’m lazy, but even I find a way to say things to people and do things for them without some holiday forcing the issue. And if it isn’t worth the effort to make sixty dozen cookies or turkey dinners or otherwise get together to share life during more times during the year, why pretend it does for the holiday? To me, celebrating the meaning of the holiday is totally separate from whatever traditions you choose to have for it.

People can do whatever they want to, and I appreciate it when I am given the same consideration. I don’t like others (business, people, politicians, etc.) trying to tell me what to do, how to do it or when to do it. I like to make my own mind up about things … and create my own traditions. We were given gifts of labor and time a few years ago. You going to paint the living room this year anyway? Wouldn’t you love someone gifting some of their time to help you do that instead of giving you more stuff to take up room in a closet? Or have someone just come by in January to say hi and hang out for a while with no agenda other than just spending some quality time together?

My thinking may not work for others, but it works for me. I am happier because everything feels the same to me … no highs or lows. Since I’m the only ‘me’ I’ve got, I try to pay attention. You do whatever makes you happy. Ultimately, none of it matters all that much anyway … we live, we die, and we can be happy in-between if we make the effort. How you decide to spend your time and money really is up to you.

Music this week is on Friday and Saturday ...

Friday we are so HAPPY to have Kalli VanderTop from her own StudioK Music. Kalli will have keyboard and vocals and maybe guitar, and maybe guests ... part of the fun is how the performance unfolds! Soft rock, classic rock, originals, you never know ... but it will be wonderful and fun and happy and we always look forward to Kalli's music ... she is a bright spot in our music with her creative and youthful energy ... make a point of stopping by to see her and listen ... you'll have a sweet night of music!

Saturday we are once again totally psyched to have Chris Smith back at Genoa ... Chris is simply a wonderful solo musician ... his voice and some of his songs are just incredibly powerful and moving ... He creates one of my favorite music nights with his original songs that showcase his talent. He adds cover tunes to remind you how much you love to hear familiar music LIVE when played by an experienced and polished musician ... His music is enthusiastic, powerful, rich and absorbing ... please join me for a great night ... and listen to a man who has incredible talent ... you will be so glad you did ... he is FABULOUS and we love his music!